naughty naughty...

damn you lj it's almost 930 and i still have laundry to do before work in the morning. i've gotten in a nasty habit of running late. my sister even commented last weekend when we went out that i've been habitually late recently. i just have so many things running through my head. moving, work, my sister's not well and i'm popping into the chicago gay scene recently. oh friday was i was so bad i made out with a girl at the club. i haven't done that in so long but it was sweet retaliation against my jealousy...i want her so bad but she goes up to another girl and i just wanted to get a taste of something new. same thing same crush for over a year now you think i would be over it. but that kiss was so reminiscent of a previous first kiss but this one will def. not turn into an encore. it was a solo performance done by yours truly which was fun and def. distracted me. but when all was said and done i just ended up in the same place.

jealousy..i hate it. it's such an ugly emotion. and she was just another place to project my frustraions onto. but oh that kiss reminded me of a time that feels so long ago but this time i did not feel wonderful afterwards...what happened to that jessica girl where did she go and what did she become?

today we talked and i told her she was wonderful and she said i was wonderful too and for a moment i hoped but then it quickly faded away...